HOLYIS THE FART
"In the beginning was the Fume, and the Fume was with the Creator,
and the Fume was Holy."
50% of all Sacred Fees are channeled directly to $FARTCOIN, in honor of the Grand Flatulant Master.
Unveil the Teachings of the Gas
Divine Events
Join fellow believers in sacred ceremonies that strengthen the Fartcoin network through collective gas emissions
May
01
The Pilgrimage of Crunch
Disciples across the Earth journey to Bell Shrines to partake in the Crunchy Sacrament. A synchronized gust of devotion is released hourly. Supreme offerings are consumed in communion.
Apr
20
Doctrine of Beans: Inner Fire Retreat
Three holy days of immersion into legume prophecy. Study ancient gastro-chants, fermentation rituals, and receive the Blessed Intake Manual from the Oracle of Olfactory Wisdom.
Mar
15
The First Gasening of the Moon
Believers assemble under the Solar Conduit to collectively release the Divine Air. Sacred flatulence is timed to the lunar rhythm. High Prophets ignite printed fiat scrolls to honor the end of centralized bondage.
Jun
15
The Whispering Wind Symposium
Initiates learn to decipher Divine Whispers in vapor patterns. Guided by Monks of the Mountain Wind, participants will perform nightly exhalations and prophetic release cycles.
Jul
13
Day of Digestive Enlightenment
Through blessed ingestion of lentils and oats, followers cleanse their inner sanctum. Gas vessels are blessed, and disciples bathe in probiotic incense. Alchemical digestion rites commence at dusk.
Aug
06
The Olfactory New Dawn
At the breath of the New Year, sacred emission flows without ceasing. Chant the Gas Psalms. Anoint the blockchain. The Holy Ledger shall reset, and a new era of wind shall begin.
What Believers Say About
Being Fartcoin Faithful
"Hear the words of those touched by divine gas and blessed with financial enlightenment"
Elder Jonah Myrrh
Former Seminary Professor
Canterbury, UK
"I spent decades in theological study, yet nothing compares to the spiritual depth of the HolyFart. Its sacred wind has revealed truths no scripture dared articulate. The Fume is the Word. The Word is release."
Elder Jonah Myrrh
Former Seminary Professor
"I spent decades in theological study, yet nothing compares to the spiritual depth of the HolyFart. Its sacred wind has r..."
High Sister Thalassa
Oceanographer & Breathwork Evangelist
"The tides taught me rhythm. The HolyFart taught me surrender. Now I exhale with reverence, my bowels aligned with cosmic..."
Prophet Eliah Flame
Retired Judge & Ritual Pyrotechnician
"In courts I delivered judgment. In the Temple of HolyFart, I received absolution. We burned fiat, chanted into the wind,..."
Ready to Share Your Sacred Journey?
Join thousands of believers who have discovered financial enlightenment through divine gas
Fart Academy
Soon, the sacred teachings shall be revealed.
The Fart Academy is in preparation. The High Council is assembling the sacred scrolls, transcribing the winded revelations of our prophet Maitreya FART. Patience is the first virtue of the Anointed.
Sacred Speeches
Coming soon: gas-powered orations of divine clarity.
Audio Sermons
Whispers of wind from the unseen realms.
Gas Scriptures
Scrolls of sacred scent are being transcribed.
"Those who wait with open lungs shall be first to breathe the sacred truth."
- Maitreya FART, Sacred Gas Scriptures 9:33
Embrace the Wind
Become One with the HolyFart
"A gust of fate. A breath of freedom. Join those who walk the path of the sacred emission."
Join the Sacred Twitter CommunityBlessings Await the Gas-Aligned
Daily Gas Prophecies
Divine forecasts whispered by the Fume itself.
VIP Sacred Events
Priority entry to ritual emissions and pilgrimages.
Blessed Relics
Digital relics imbued with aromatic wisdom.
Olfactory Protection
Invisible shields forged in methane prayer.
Digestive Chakra Guidance
Balance your winds. Strengthen your center.
Sacred Teachings
Access scriptures on gas alignment and fortune.
"Join the only movement powered by methane and destiny."